Letting Go

I've been asked quite frequently how I'm doing with the "distance thing" Nathan and I have going on right now.  My usual, and truthful, answer is it's not that bad having an out of town husband.  Monday through Thursday, I do my thing.  I work, watch my guilty pleasure tv shows that Nathan hates, take care of things around the house, enjoy long bubble baths and reading in quiet.  But by Thursday night, I'm getting pretty lonely for the company of my best good friend.  And it's ok, because the weekend is right around the corner and I get to see him.  

But this weekend, all of the pressure came crashing down on me.  Like everyone else, I have a job and household chores to take care of.  I go to my draining and demanding job each day and come home to the usual mundane chores each night (laundry, cleaning, making sure the dogs have their heartworm medicine, checking to be sure the litter maid hasn't shirked her duties, taking out the garbage, making sure I eat all my veggies).  But I (we) also have the added responsibility of a new business, second home, separation and maintaining our "connection".  I had a hard time watching Nathan leave our home in Kingston Springs on Sunday.  After watching him load up his truck and head down the driveway, I curled up in a ball and a had a good cry.

It's so easy to get caught up in the to-do lists, stresses and pressure of everyday life and feeling like I have to do it all, by myself.   I'm not one to ask for help.  I like to be Miss Independent.  A much needed and timely reminder came to me today while checking my email in the car on my way home from school (yep, I was checking my email while driving) from an email forward my mother-in-law sent.  It was the usual tug on the heartstrings story about a person in need and God sending angels to earth in the form of regular people.  But tucked in at the end was a Bible verse that spoke to me, my heart, and my cluttered conscience.  It was God speaking to me...

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." Psalms 55:22

Wow.  It hit me like I ton of bricks.  Why do I feel I must take on the world all alone?  I simply don't have to.  God sent his Son to suffer and intercede for me so that I don't have to be burdened.  I then pulled up the Holy Bible app on my iPhone and looked up The Message version of this verse.  I like to hear scriptures in simple, everyday relatable words, too.  It said:

"Pile your troubles on God's shoulders - he'll carry your load, he'll help you out.  He'll never let good people topple into ruin."

So right then and there, in my car, I prayed a prayer of relief.  And then peace and verses came rushing to me.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  John 16:33

And then an favorite... which I'm posting "Message" style.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."  Jeremiah 29:11

So that's what I'm doing.  I'm trusting in God's plan for my life.  I'm trusting He'll be faithful to the prayers I prayed this summer when contemplating the gas station purchase and that He'll be faithful to the prayers I prayed today and will pray tomorrow.  Our God is an awesome God. I'm letting go.